A 2010 Topps blaster up close and personal.

So as we gratefully ponder your insights about how to watch the Mets this season (the post below), we thought we'd show you what a Santa Fe Target 2010 Topps blaster produced. Nothing to write home about, and yet pleasant enough. Despite the fact that Topps can't resist bragging about this fact:

It's not nice to be all blowhard about it, Messrs. Topps. Anyhow, Lucy, zenlike, typed in all the base cards from the box, as follows:

3.  Derrek Lee
4.   League Leaders (HR, PS, AP, TH, JV, CC, RB, MT, FL, NM, MP, DW)
11. Orlando Cabrera
13. Melvin Mora
20. Tommy Hanson
24. John Maine
35. Rick Porcello
47. Brad Penny
53. Creg Councell
57. CC Sabathia
58. Kyle Blanks
68. Brandon Inge
69. Kansas City Royals Team
81. Ryan Theriot
89. J.A. Happ
98. Cesar Ramos
100. Albert Pujols
102. Minnesota Twins Team
107. Scot Hairston
110. Andrew McCutchen
111. TY Wigginton
117. David DeJesus
127. Hank Blalock
128. Garrett Mock
130. Vladimir Guerrero
138. League Leaders (CP, MT, JB, AH, AL, MC, KM, NC, EL, MC)
144. Rich Harden
152. Nyjer Morgan

155. Zack Greinke
162. Wade Davis
173. Kendry Morales
176. Yovani Gallardo
181. Nick Johnson
199. Seattle Mariners team
202. San Francisco Giants baseball Field
208. Tim Wakefield
211. Kelly Soppach
226. Juan Rivera
234. Tampa Bay Rays Team
243. Asdrubal Cabrera
256. Akinor Iwamura
265. Angels Team
267. Toronto Blue Jays
268. Juan Pierre
277. Jarrod Washburn
290. Orlando Hudson
294. Adam Dunn
299. Gary Sheffield
306. Mlton Bradley
307. Henry Rodriguez
316. Chris Young

Those five base cards above are among her favorites. This one too:

A rare look at A-Rod before he discovered steroids. From the ridiculous to the sublime, looky what we pulled, a tribute from one of our favorite sets:

A Tom Seaver psychedelic tombstone!

There were three of these:

What do you think of the Legendary Lineage design? Our jury is out:

How about those Peak Performance cards?

Sweet. Except for the Dodgers part. If anyone has any doubts whatsoever about what a meanie Walter O'Malley was, and how heartless the departure from Brooklyn really was, read:

The author is very kind to the O'Malley family, and this book is an effort in part to rehabilitate him. Yet. Yet. It doesn't take much imagination to read between the lines in some places. And we completely reject the idea that Robert Moses was more to blame for the betrayal. Let's just say you may end up a Giants fan or a Mets fan. Or! You can accentuate the positive and just read the engaging Chapter Six, about the 1951 pennant race. PS It's all right, Night Owl. We forgive you, because in every other way, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

What is this thing? We're too bored to read the fine print. And stop insulting moms!! Corporate-endorsed mom-insulting can go bite itself!

Aack.

Okay, we have to quibble with the wording here. Commemorative yes. Historical? Please.

Not bad.

Here, the Topps cardback squad gets honest and drops the word "historical." The back even says looky, this here is a 2010 Topps patch "featuring the 1971 World Series, in which he played." That is, this thing has nothing whatsoever to do with 1971 except, you know, commemorating it. And stuff. Yes, honesty is refreshing and remains the best policy.

We have a hunch we might enjoy the whole History of the Game series. As for the Tales cards we received, this one of Ernie Banks is our favorite. The other two are below the Turkey Reds:

So, who looks more handsome in a baseball uniform, the Mick or the Bambino?

Taken together, 2010 Topps is a pretty enjoyable set.

Six cards in 30: John Maine. And an MLB TV question.

Scanning our Mets/John Maine pages and picking six faves in 30 seconds was actually made MORE difficult by the fact that we don't have all that many JM cards. We had to be very choosy, very fast.

Lucy likes this one because she likes high-knee pitching motion. She so analytical. I like it because it's a pretty blue.

For some reason, the arty cards often have a tough time capturing eyes very well. Still, the Goodwin Champions relic cards are pleasing.

See what we mean about the eyes? Still, we like this image, from the Good Goudeys. You know, as opposed to the Goofy Goudeys, where everyone resembles a Ferengi:

Ah, Goudey, we barely knew ye.

I know we've pointed this out before, but you've got to love the card logo/jersey logo juxtaposition here! Have you noticed the blogtrend towards universal 2010 Topps love?

Here, Johnny leads with his chin.

Here, JM's eyes look real, and kind of sweet.

So, those are the John Maine Six.

Now, here's our MLB TV question. We know ourselves, and if we actually have to research this, no action will be taken. So we are reaching out for your wisdom.

Let's say you don't have cable or satellite because you want your kids to live in a low-impact TV world. Let's say you love the Mets. Let's say you'd like to consider getting MLB TV, or maybe something we don't know exists, like for instance something Metsy on iTunes. Is there a way just to pretty much get Mets games? Not that all the teams aren't interesting to watch, but if you only want Mets games, is there a way to do that? Other than moving back to NYC, which we haven't ruled out, but not for this season. Thank you for any insight you can provide. Surely, in the year 2010, with information access everywhere, there must be a way?

Mondo Bippo.

It started innocently enough. It was a gray, slushy day, and we were happy to see a package from the wildly generous and ever upbeat Troll. Sweet! Right? Well, never take anything for granted in this world, people. This is probably what made us complacent:

An unspeakably beautiful diamond Zito. As in, wow. Right? But no. The refractor had hypnotized us into serenity, even when we saw this:

Nervous? Over this?:

Why would a Darvish and a smile make us in the least bit nervous? Let alone...

Right? We thought it was a joke. Because look how great this is:

What could be better? A back such as this, that's what:

In fact, we didn't get really...

until, like the matey in the crow's nest, we looked out over a sea of cards and spotted this...

Magadan-ipped? What the....[cue up Psycho shower scene violin]:

Aaaaughh!

Good thing this was included as a post-terror palliative:

Whew. All we can say, folks, is, be careful out there.

Mini me.

Everyone probably gets weak-kneed when they receive cards from Cardboard Junkie because it's a little like getting a package from the Smithsonian Cardstitution. You may not be aware of this, but at dayf's rambling estate (people in Georgia prefer not to use the term 'ranch') he has a series of rooms and hallways devoted to cards of every era, and there are non-stop interviews being conducted with him by knowledgable baseball card journalists...well, there should be, anyway.

As is often the case, many of the cards dayf sends get immediately placed into binders. We apologize for this. However, a few remained out because we knew we needed to do an actual post, and so here are those few. This is now one of our favorite minis of all time:

If you're wondering why, we can't exactly express why. Though it may have something to do with our vague memory of being on the actual Queen Mary (not 2) when we were very young, and everyone was overjoyed because my Polish grandma's sister was visiting us from the old country and for some reason we were partying on the QM. Perhaps she arrived on one of Queen Mary's Atlantic crossings (or as the website somewhat indelicately puts it, "Queen Mary 1,001; Titanic 0") or perhaps it was just an event of some sort once she was already here, I don't recall. But my goodness was that a ship! The original Queen Mary, somwhat sadly, is a hotel docked in Long Beach, CA and now the serious tourist ships are crass and grotesque looking, not to mention an excellent place to contract viral infections. I still savor my tyke-memories of the elegance, the sweet uniforms of the ship's crew, the curving wood bannisters, oh my on QM. Anyway, that is a good mini. So are these:

And if you squint your eyes a little, doesn't Mr. Brazell on the left resemble Jason Bay? Just a teense? Oh, come on. Humor us.

Smiling minis:

Here, the field behind Mr. Heilman is pretty:

And how can you not love Hank Greenberg? Answer: you can't not love Hank Greenberg.

This is a classy-looking card of one of the classiest players ever, Roberto Clemente. And, from the sublime to the ridiculous:

Fair warning from Ralphie about what is next: a stunning Zito Effect card. Are you ready?:

On the back we have not only a different photo of Zitolander, but some text written in a Star Trek-esque font that manages to use the word "unnerved" in a cardback sentence. Very pleasing indeed!

Thank you dayf for the Queen Mary memories.

Upbeat Department: Frank Catalanotto coming to the Mets.

So the Mets seem to have indeed signed Frank Catalanotto to a minor league contract with an invite to spring training. Hey. He's the first player who ever returned one of Lucy's TTM requests,

so he's a sentimental favorite around here. But in the more rational realm, he is also thought to be an excellent clubhouse presence and is known as a playing hitting instructor. He's a good pinch hitter. He has a strong work ethic.

He is lifetime .292 (over the last three years he has hit about .270) and has played just about every position; right field, second base, first base, left field, and third base.To be frank, we are upbeat about this. He may be in Buffalo a lot but if a bench position becomes available, We Want Frank! We Want Frank! Here's his Facebook page. Here's our link to the special Dinged Corners Frank Catalanotto Collecting Category. Here are the other two autographed cards we own of Frank Catalanotto.

Frankly, we are now officially becoming interested in obtaining a few more.
Admittedly, the addition of Frank could make the Mets' outfield rather crowded. Where does this leave Gary Matthews? Ah, normalcy and logic doesn't necessarily work on this team, so why fret?

Frank Little Cat (born in New York), welcome home!

2010 Topps: a close look at three base cards.

The team logos look sharp if you don't mind very large, slanty logos, which we don't, because we like the happy retro Mets style. Whether you like this feature thus may be influenced by team preference. The foil is very, well, foily. But it's not chippy. When the foil looks cracked or is missing bits, that's the worst thing ever. Will that happen over time to the 2010 Topps base rendition? Unknown, but for now, it's ok. The photography is good, to a degree. In this shot, we have the earnest David Wright tongue sticking out; but there's something behind him that gives an effect of David having a giant right ear, which is a little disturbing. The Topps logo is ok. We're hoping there are throwback versions of the entire base set.

The base card backs get extra points because at least Topps took the care to include photos that are different from the fronts. It's the little things that make us appreciate your design efforts, Topps. The text is interesting, providing as it does a subtle backhanded insult to Keith Hernandez and Mike "I'm Not Gay" Piazza.

Here the Mets logo on the card and the one on John Maine's jersey are juxtaposed in a manner that can only be described as artful. The foil is holding up well. What do you think of the tiny letter off to the distant left indicating player position? This photo is better because the background is out of focus and less distracting. John Maine keeps his tongue inside his mouth, but makes the "mmm" face.

As for text: the shoulder problem deprived John of play, and deprived the team of his presence. The writer here says he'll be back, baby. Let's hope so. The "NY" is gigantic. We're not saying that's bad.

Here is a wonderful Curtis Granderson card sporting a familiar shot of him doing the patented Grandy Hustle. He's runnin' and he's lookin'. Facial expression: somewhere between tongue and "mmm," with the latter winning out. On the Mets card, there's only a team name on the front. On the Tigers card, it's team name and also city. There doesn't seem to be consistency in this regard on the 2010 Topps cards, from what little we've seen.

Again, points for the different photo on the back, although this shot is a tad goofy. And there's that great "D." We like the text, providing information about CG's extracurricular activities. Are you liking the 2010 Topps base design?

These three cards all came to us via dayf in a spectacular array--thank you, Cardboard Junkie. (More on that array soon.)

Do not try this at home.

As a rule, it's a good idea not to have three batters in the batter's box at once, unless they are trained professionals with power 'staches. Otherwise, this could be as dangerous as driving a new Toyota.

Heartbreaking post of staggering bippification.

Today when we found items in our mailbox little did we realize that we would not only get bipped, but we would also almost get bipped (we'll explain that in another post). Truly, when it bips, it pours. And to be clear and thorough we should clarify: we were less bipped than Bip-ped,

which is, clinically speaking, more far-reaching.

And do you see that the back of the lead-card Bip reveals little bipdirtbits flying? Beautiful:

But Mr. Roberts has it all under control. Nice try, base runner. You are about to be OUT.

All this action came via the kind and generous Heartbreaking Cards of Staggering Genius. And Mr. Hrtbrk sent along not only those pretty, shiny WBC cards, but also what you will momentarily see is the most fantastic, overwrought, insane manufactured patch ever known to cardkind. My friends, this particular patch feels sorry for any other patch that has ever deluded itself into thinking it is a formidable patch. This patch is pictured next to the word "formidable" in the dictionary. This mother of all patches makes us wonder if UD somehow brought Betsy Ross from the past via an exclusive contract specifically to sew it. AND this patch is one of the ultimate Zito Effects ever. Ok? EVER.

You see? [wiping eyes] There are times that words simply don't suffice.

State of the Union Drinking Baseball Card Game.

Ok, so we don't drink much. Variations/additions welcome in comments. If we stick together, we can endure this.

Obama says "let me be clear"
Flip one Barry Zito card into envelope marked "Dinged Corners"

Obama says "yes we will"
Put two Chipper Jones (or Babe Ruth) cards in mail to dayf

Obama says "make no mistake"
Chew some old baseball card bubblegum

Obama says, "Let me be clear, yes we will, make no mistake"
Chew a minimum of three pieces of bubblegum and post a picture of yourself doing so

Joe Wilson yells something
Very well, consider taking a drink

Obama yells back
Oh, just finish the bottle

Obama says "jobs" more than five times
Update your resume, but date it 2013

Obama says "health care"
If you got a paper cut when placing that Zito card in the Dinged Corners envelope, just remember you are SOL

Obama says "health care" more than three times
Mail David Plouffe a baseball card of Curt Schilling

Nancy Pelosi looks vacant and blinks
2010 Mets cards into the Dinged Corners envelope, one per blink

Obama mentions Bo the Dog
Place a baseball card into your dog's water bowl

Joe Biden falls asleep
Send Dinged Corners a gift certificate to Blowout Cards; if Biden laughs inappropriately at some point, send us two gift certificates

Obama uses the term "Congressional leadership"
If you haven't choked on your drink, arrange to send a truckload of common baseball cards to dump on the Capitol steps

Obama says what a great idea the bailouts were for the economy
Run outside and use your brightest chrome refractors to reflect the sun and try to take out all the satellites so you no longer have to feel cynical about broadcasts such as these

Obama invites the world over for a beer on the White House lawn
Accept. Americans can be crabby, but are ever hopeful

So. Any other ideas?

All will be Wright with the world on April 5.

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's alright

Little darling, the smile's returning to the faces

Little darling, it seems like years

 since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's alright

Sun, sun, sun, here comes

Sun, sun, sun, here comes

Sun, sun, sun, here comes

Sun, sun, sun, here comes

Sun, sun, sun, here comes

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's alright, it's alright

Many thanks to the ever-thoughtful lonestarry night (what great minis! including our first Obak minis; and those PoH cards are sweet), Nico (fun trading with you!) and (for the Tom Seaver card!) A Cardboard Problem.

High numbers in the high seas: noble things.

"...it must needs be plucked at from the skies, and dived for in the deep, and featured in the unbodied air!" Moby Dick, Ch. 34

What would truly revive your interest in relic cards? We've seen seat bits, buttons, bats, gloves and of course jerseys. What's missing? The full cycle of card history contained in a single relic card insert set, that's what. How to achieve that in one issue? To answer this we must turn to the undersea myth of Sy Berger and that huge pile of baseball cards he is said to have consigned to Davy Jones' locker. Mr. Berger has claimed that he sent hundreds of cases of 1952 Topps high numbers (#311-407) to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

For example, here's a quote from a Sports Collectors Digest article by T.S. O'Connell:

"Topps had stored those 1952 Topps for eight or nine years. According to Berger, these were all cut cards. 'They were put in boxes. It took three garbage trucks. I would say 300-500 cases. All high series of 1952 Topps. I found a friend of mine who had a garbage scow and we loaded the three trucks-worth on the barge.' It was hauled out to sea by a tugboat, with Berger on board to supervise the undertaking, such as it was. 'I was out there with it. Opposite Atlantic Highlands, a few miles out.'

The cases were stacked on the center of the barge, and a switch was thrown and those (now) precious cards were consigned to the deep. 'And that was the end of it,' said Berger. 'Whoever thought that they would have the kind of value that they would have?'

Who indeed? So, if we accept the story lock, stock, and barrel, that means there are SCADS of baseball cards at the bottom of the ocean intermingling their molecules with disintegrated wax, bubble gum, box board, fish fins, tentacles, kelp, and God knows what else.

That ocean dumping is why only a fortunate few kids came to clutch in their gnarled talons that year's Mickey Mantle rookie card.

Scarcity equals value. In the golden pre-ocean baseball card days, and in fact for a while afterward, cards were made only of paper pulp and marketed to kids and kids alone. That's evident because the packs cost one cent and included a wide stick of barely chewable bubble gum. And what did kids do with those cards? They thumbed through stacks; they wrapped 'em with rubber bands and stashed 'em in shoe boxes. Cards got lost, worn, tossed against walls, inserted into bike spokes, or even thrown away. Kids did not think about value.

The result of all this unthinking happy card activity: few of those cards survived in good condition, let alone near mint condition. THAT is what led to today's values. Scarcity of cards in decent condition. The story of the 1952 Topps high numbers submerged in the ocean accelerated this effect.

After months of exhaustive design work, largely undertaken by Mr. Berger himself, Topps produced a set that is seen by many as the ultimate post-war sportscard issue; and clocking in at 407 cards, it was the largest single-year issue ever produced. Two major design innovations: including player statistics for the previous season and career totals on the backs of the cards, and the use of color team logos on the fronts.

What does all this mean? So, let's say those cards were thrown into the deep blue sea. Then, let's say card executives gradually realized that ocean dumping of 1952 Topps cards helped increase their value. The primal, cavemanlike corporate response to this realization over time evolved into: "Unga munga, we produce many many cards and stamp with numbers and stickers and bits of cloth and wood and leather and people buy with more money and we make more money!"

That is the continuum from the depths of the ocean: scarcity is good.

So, taken to its extreme, clearly someone should hire a Cousteau and triangulate wherever those card cases ended up off the Jersey Shore. Then, using a vessel

such as the one that first eyeballed the sunken Titanic, find the little vestiges of cardboard left inside those 500 boxes.

It's been more than 50 years, so maybe there'll only be one pulpy mess, or maybe there'll only be some gunk or a sob-inducing horrifying wad. That's okay. Card technology has advanced.

Once the pulpy bits are brought to the surface, teams of Topps designers would work 'round the clock. Into graphic designs combining baseball with the seas--both heavily mythological--there would be inserted bits of pulp--numbered of course. The inserts might be called "Genuine 1952 Topps High Number Gloppular Bits." This would be better than DNA! In fact it would be baseball card DNA! Who wouldn't want one?

Here's the humbling confessional part of this fantasy essay. We'll tell you who would probably end up wanting one. Dinged Corners, that's who--apparently the Ahab of baseball card collectors, seeking the white whale of Topps history. Sy had us at "look out below."