6.14.2008

Our baseball card rules.

Disclaimer: You know when the old sitcoms would use an episode full of flashbacks so they didn't have to pay the writers? That's kind of like what this post is. Were you horrified by the last-minute homemade cards that Dinged Corners brought to the game on Thursday night? Are you sent screaming into the night by our naive preference for baseball cards signed through the mail, rather than the certified holographically stickered witnessed official you betcha they were signed by the stated player otherwise they're not valuable cards?

Do you guffaw when you detect our relative lack of knowledge as compared to the encyclopedic depth of certain baseball blog-oracles that remain nameless but oh, mm hm, you know who they are because you refer to them when you actually need to know a baseball cardular fact?

Yes you say? Well, reel it in buster. Much like the dangerous wildeyed koala pictured above--yes, that koala, the one willing to do whatever it takes to sit comfortably--we LAUGH at conventional wisdom.


DON'T TRY AND ADJUST YOUR COMPUTER SCREENS. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING:



THE DINGED CORNERS ZONE


Believe in infinity cards. They exist!

Salute the Stars and Stripes; support Team USA all the way.

Develop theories, such as this one about eBay. Proclaim them assertively.

Never let nice guys finish last.

Seek studs.

This is now the only acceptable method for mailing baseball cards.

Remember who first told you that Topps card images are used at MLB stadiums when players are introduced.

Do your job before you hit the ground. Or as.

Forget not that the time-space continuum is overrated.

Never feel alone, even when in the dirt as your hat falls off, if you made a good catch.

SMILE though your heart is aching.

Consider that vintage smile cards may have the most oomph.

Don't forget why you like baseball in the first place.

Know that graceful signatures make up for crazy hair.

Answer the phone!

Admit the truth: now THAT'S a realistic baseball card photo!

Listen to your kids, even if they like red cards.

Recognize when greatness is achieved in one shot heard 'round the world.

Never forget to read your baseball comics.

However, you must accept that ballplayers have superpowers. They can fly.

Be brave. Do not fear monsters on the field.

Don't make snap judgments. Howdy Doody is smarter than you think.

Be skeptical, but not TOO skeptical about repackaged cards.

Know your Bible verses, as many players add them to their signatures.

Don't lose your sunglasses. Keep them on with a thick, unwieldy phone cord.

Do not fail to support your local card-back artist.

Get advice from the experts. Follow it.

Don't be embarrassed that you like game worn bits. Really, it's ok.

Stand aside as Ryne parts the Red Sea.

Don't be afraid to ask questions.

Seek Rainbow Shiny.

Know that eventually, people come to their senses.

Decide how important this is in your considerations of players.

Step up to the plate: girls' fastpitch softball just wants to have fun.

Admire the Gloved Ones.

Accept Minnesota Joe's emergency backup consolation card.

Know your history.


No comments: