Ten Card Confessions: Why We Don't Deserve This Hobby.

10. We can't read Want Lists. The numbers and letters float around before our eyes.

But neither can we create accurate want lists.* Our ANTI WANT LIST approach: when you receive cards from us, they may not be one your want list and possibly some may repeat cards you already have. There is no rhyme or reason to us. On the plus side, what's so great about rhyme and reason?

9. We take forever to cardulate. We want to send cards to all of you, but know we probably won't. We want to get the right size envelopes, but mess up. We will freak out when our local mail place can't send a packet to Canada because it's over two ounces and we have to take it downtown or repackage on the spot. We will employ our Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and check your zip code several times. We'll seal the envelope and then wonder if there are any cards, or the correct cards, inside. We will tell someone we're sending cards and then a month or two later, send them, after retrieving them from behind the seat in the van. If we are upside down in a trade, we WILL make it up eventually. Have alert readers identified the problem concept and word in the previous sentence? EVENTUALLY. This is especially true if you are a player collector and already own every card of this player known to man. On the plus side, we take it as a quest.

8. Our cards tend to explode. We like everything in our house neat and tidy. We like the bench placed just so. The bedspread should not be asymmetrical. But when we undertake any kind of card action, two tables are suddenly covered with cardboard and plastic. We become confused. Eventually, someone in the family comes along and organizes things into files. On the plus side, we really appreciate that.

7. We are inconsistent. For instance, we don't like sticker autos. In fact, we hate them with every fiber of our being. Today, we bought a sticker auto of Hong-Chih Kuo. We don't understand ourselves; how can anyone else be expected to understand us? On the plus side, perhaps some day we will come to our senses.

6. We are easily influenced. We remain intrigued by 1983 Topps, for instance, thanks in large part to patient tutoring from White Sox Cards, not to mention a generous bunch of cards from him, and also cards from Heartbreaking and others we don't deserve to name. When our older daughter put some 1983 team sets into card sleeves, she said authoritatively that 1983 Topps aren't as awesome as Pokemon cards. Why did she lob this terrible insult? Because the 1983 Topps players are "all wearing the same outfits and striking the same poses," she explained. On the plus side, there is nothing better than an action shot and a little circle photo on the same card. Okay? Nothing. It's impossible to hold 1983 Topps cards in your hands and not love them. Unless you prefer Pokemon cards.

5. We are not wise about value. We happen to like David Wright and Curtis Granderson cards, of course--but because they're good role models, not because of value. And we could collect Barry Zito

cards infinitely--does that make any sense to you? You will have to sue us; Barry Zito's picture is next to Zen in our dictionary. As for Jamie Moyer, we like him because he's old and wise. We like Micah Owings because he seems to have some humility. You see? Value? On the plus side, every moment spent on anything together with my family has incalculable value.

4. We don't like football cards. This may be because even though we're pretty smart, we don't comprehend football. But it's also because the helmets prevent us from seeing the player's faces. On the plus side, that leaves more room in our binders for baseball cards.

3. We leave baseball card packs in the glove compartment. See previous post. On the plus side, this provides something to do at unexpected moments.

2. We are a teensy bit fickle. What else can explain, for instance, suddenly appreciating that Eric Byrnes plays with intensity? Or caring deeply about Chase Utley? On the plus side, fickle is fun, and we never wander far from our favorite favorites or our team.

The number one reason we don't deserve this hobby:

1. We make mistakes. Here are the two worst mistakes we made in 2008...and we're hoping you don't upon reading this turn off your computers in disgust, your eyes caught in a permanent rolled position. The first worst thing we did was THINK we had completed our 2008 Allen & Ginter base set (with the very kindhearted help of several bloggers) when in fact we still have four base cards to attain. Does this make you, as a set collector, wonder how people like us are even allowed to subsist on cardboard? The second worst thing we did was lose our Carlos Beltran jersey card. Not just ANY Carlos Beltran jersey card, but this one:

That's right, the dirty pants card. At least we have a photograph. And these four profound comments from bloggers who have had a similar experience. But how could this happen? Probably has something to do with numbers 3, 8, and 9 above. Life itself, children, and the sad fact that we have other interests probably contributed to the distractions leading to this tragedy. We will always wonder how we could have casually removed Carlos from a binder so he could be near us...and then lose track of him forever.

And no, he's not in the glove compartment.