Upper Deck is not our friend. And thoughts about two Mets.

Thanks to a company named Upper Dreck, er Deck, I had an awful experience today. Unspeakable. Thus I cannot speak it. In fact, it's beyond my ability to express in mere words. It's a good thing that Topps is the company that makes Allen & Ginter.

Perhaps someday I will recover and if I am able to proceed without shuddering, tell you all about it. Until that distant day, we're talkin' Mets.

At a spring training press conference, Jose Reyes said, "I’m here to do whatever they want me to do. People call me and say I'm not going to lead off anymore but I'm here to help this team win. No matter where they put me – third, second, fourth, fifth, whatever. I'm here to play baseball and help this team win a championship."

The sight of Jose, about whom most Mets fans have, shall we say, mixed feelings, wearing an ebullient rag on his head, acting all chirpy and pleasant, was refreshing after seeing the mass of chunky, surly Yankee humanity

show up at the annual Apologetic Pinstripes on Steroids press conference. Jose by comparison was, in fact, a breath of fresh air.

He also repeatedly expressed wide-eyed wonder that the Phillies keep saying

mean, nasty things about the Mets, such as that they are choke artists. No comment.

And Luis Castillo showed up at spring training 17 pounds lighter than he was this time last year. "I'm a new man right now," Castillo said.

"I know I can be better."

So can we all, Luis.

Such upbeat, shiny thoughts can almost make a girl forget about ----r D---.