Driving back home from an errand this morning, we heard on the radio that Disney bought Marvel for $4 billion. This is not small change. Neither is it change we can believe in. It seems evident that within 20 years, the U.S. of A. will be run not by a president or three branches of government but by about five corporations that will be boss of all. Soon United Healthcare, Bank of America, Disney, and a couple to be named later will determine everything. Ev. er. yt. hi. ng. No more democracy, only corporatocracy. What if Topps were to become one of the ruling companies in the new America®? How would life be different if Topps helped run everything? hmmmmm Ok, that's another post.
Despite all this harsh Monday reality, we nevertheless bought a blaster of Topps Chrome.Actually, we did this for you. Occasionally it dawns on us that Dinged Corners needs to write about a new baseball card, not just an old dinged-up one. So, the first thing we should probably tell you is, run out to Target right now and buy one if you care that the computers there seem to be charging $17.99 rather than $19.99
for said blaster. We were jostled out of our corporate reverie-grump when we received change from a $20, which as you know, is not supposed to happen when purchasing blasters unless it's the end of the year and you're stocking up on UD X.
The second through fourth things you must be notified of are that 2) we are easily amused, 3) we like the 2009 Topps design, and 4) Shiny is Good. Therefore, we don't have any clever negative things to say about Topps Chrome. Except maybe enough with Ryan Howard already. Here are the results.The first card out of the first pack was this Joe Mauer refractorish card. That is, it's well beyond shiny and plus has little squares of shiny all over it. Scanners don't project refractometry well, so sorry for that, but it's a nice looking baseball card. And don't you love the tiny little catcher's helmet that Joe always balances on the top of his head?
Mr. K! A stinkin' Brave.
Really, the scanner doesn't do well with Topps Chrome. For instance, this Rocco card has a depth that is quite impressive, due entirely to shiny. By the way, we also pulled a Miguel Cabrera card. We always roll our eyes before opening packs and say to ourselves, "We wonder where the Miguel Cabrera card will be?" and sure enough. In this case, it was in the first pack. Miguel Cabrera is probably a nice human being but we'd be ok if we never laid eyes on another one of his cards. Is that mean? He is in our "Unwanted but Inevitable Pull" category. Do you have a few of those? Chien-Ming Wang also made an appearance, as did James Shields, Mark TISSSH-AIRRR-AH, and Brian McCann.
True, another Brave--but at least Mr. McCann's catcher's helmet doesn't look like one he saved from Little League. Things began looking up when we found this card:
A 16/199 version. The blue is gorgeous, if a cardcolor can be gorgeous. So that was the high point. Not David Wright, but still sweet.
Then we came across a WBC player who is approximately 12 years of age:
And then good old Jeff Francis (we hope he's feeling better):
Other cards in the box included: 5 Brad Lidge, 21 Brad Hawpe, 26 David DeJesus, 36 Juan Pierre, 64 Miguel Tejada (a semi-inevitable), 72 Xavier Nady, 122 Carlos Lee (semi), 125 Matt Holliday (semi), 131 Troy Glaus, 144 Jimmy Rollins, 151 Matt Garza, 164 Ryan Zimmerman, 207 Michael Hinckley RC, 202 Edwin Moreno
Worst Pack Award of the Blaster goes to: 79 Manny Ramirez,
123 Gavin Floyd, 155 Scott Kazmir, and 192 Brett Anderson RC. No offense, just boring.
Then there was an Fmart. What do you supposed he's looking for up there? His career? The season?
This card is pretty, and we like Ian:
At $17.99 for 32 cards, there is an element at work in any purchaser of economic insanity. On the bright side, the cards are formidable (you can run an office chair over one and it comes up looking pretty good). The photography is compelling. We wouldn't buy another blaster but we can understand why Topps Chrome is appealing to many. We just hope that before they help take over the planet, the Topps Elves sprinkle some shine on health care.