10.18.2009

Baseball card pack mishmash. And football!

On a wild errand spree today, we grabbed a few card packs and stinkin' bad packs they are! We thought you might enjoy them in a schadenfreude kind of way!

So, let's begin with the Goodwins. Our midnight confession is, we're very, very tired of card depicting Barack Obama. Especially in packs of baseball cards. Basta. Ok, hang on, we'll come back to Goodwin.

In a related development, remember when N.O. sent us this card?:
Little did we know that there was more to come of this ilk! Instead of Abraham Lincoln/Barack Obama, we pulled a Barack Obama/Abraham Lincoln! What variety! It's just as strange, too!

In this version, it's Abe who is lurking off to Obama's left. The President is slapped on, as if one of the Topps executives said to his seven-year-old son, "Cut out a picture from a magazine and glue it onto that card, will ya? Then I'll send you for a balloon ride!"
The text on the back of this one is not QUITE as weird as the last card, but close. Especially since it basically says that Abraham Lincoln was a "cool dude." Since we're discussing Mr. Lincoln, let us also mention one of the American Heritage cards we pulled from THAT dreadful pack. General McClellan:
This was one fella with a high opinion of himself, that McClellan. Perhaps this is tipped off a bit by the pose he strikes, and the vacant, thousand-mile stare of his hapless wife. During the Civil War, as Lincoln grew increasingly impatient with McClellan's strange propensity not to put the Army of the Potomac in the path of an actual battle, he wrote, “My dear McClellan: If you don’t want to use the Army, I should like to borrow it for a while.”

Not sure why we got this pack, just curious. These 2009 Philadelphia "retro cards," as the pack says, are from Upper Deck. They are very unremarkable. Somewhat similar to OPC in cardstock and wan-ness. However, on the back, there are trivia questions. We wish companies did this more with baseball cards. Try these two: 1) Rudi Johnson rushed for 5,742 yards with the Bengals. Where does that total rank in franchise history? 2) Randy Moss set an all-time single-season record with 23 touchdown catches in 2007. Who are the next three on the list?

Here's our question about football. Do they have salary caps in the NFL? And if so, is that a good thing?

Here are some of the OPCs:And there was one of these in each OPC pack:
The problem here is 1) I've never seen a blaster of these cards at Target and 2) $2 off is not enough. We might keep the coupons if it was "$8 off."
Back to Goodwin. What are Mauer, Gretzy and Manning looking at, all astonished? Our best guess is they are remarking upon Matt Holliday's stunning jawline:
Now, from the ridiculous to the sublime:
Paralytic poliomyelitis was by far the worst the most frightening health problem of the postwar era in America. An excellent book on this subject is Polio: An American Story, which provides a vivid background of the era, the fear, and also the conflict between Salk and Sabin in the race to find a vaccine. If you, like us, have reached a stage of your life when you only want to read nonfiction, and extremely well-wrought nonfiction at that, we recommend this book highly.

And we end with a mini card that commemorates a shocking experience we endured last night: watching the Yankees-Angels game. Mercury must be in retrograde, because we enjoyed that game.

We felt chilly just looking at the wet, cold people in Yankee Stadium; we hoped Alex Rodriguez would come through, and he did; and we found ourselves kind of, sort of, rooting for the Yankees, if only because they looked far less stupidly disheveled than the Angels. There's something to be said for short haircuts and pinstripes on athletes.

You see? This is what happens when the people who run your home team are the modern-day equivalent of George McClellan.
So, we have to decide what it exactly means that we found ourselves not being overly irritated by the Yankees. Basically, is down up? Is black white? Is the high altitude messing with our gray matter?
Dinged Corners, signing off.

7 comments:

night owl said...

Oh, no, not you, too.

I have rooted for the Yankees only three times in my life (and I am bothered that it is that many):

1. In 2001 after 9/11. How could anyone not?
2. In 1996, because after so long out of the spotlight, the Yankees seemed semi-cuddly and the Braves were, well, the Braves.
3. In 1976, because I was 10 and I didn't know any better.

A-Rod didn't irk me with his home run only because I don't like the Yankees, but because he made my job more difficult because we had to scramble on deadline to figure out what we were doing with the sports section at 1 in the morning (hmm, maybe that's FOX's fault).

Maybe if I moved to some other state, I'd find a way to appreciate him.

Mark's Ephemera said...

Just a few comments...

* Obama has a secretary named Lincoln. Lincoln had a secretary named Obama.

* McClellan was a great-grand-nephew of Napoleon. Twice removed.

* Jonas Salk was the inspiration for Tom Cruise in Cocktail.

MattR said...

Thanks for the book recommendation -- it looks like something I'd like to read.

SpastikMooss said...

About the salary cap question: yes, and yes.

And I love that Rudi Johnson card. Something about terrible Lions players in thos blue jerseys is just awesome

lonestarr said...

There are good reasons to not hate the Yankees this year. They have a decent amount of young homegrown talent contributing, A-Rod getting knocked down a couple of pegs & rediscovering himself, (presumably) Swisher loosening the team up a little bit & making them feel a little less corporatey-businessy, and Godzilla just being his infinitely likable self.

Dinged Corners said...

Well said...these creeping reasons not to hate the Yankees need to be said aloud so they don't haunt us.

Spastik, send us your address, we'll send you the cards.

Sal said...

Oh, man. Now I want that Gretzky card. I love sports paintings, especially of hockey players.