11.03.2009

Behold the awesomeness of card backs.

We received these cards from the unassuming yet dazzling Stats on the Back (his blog has been especially cookin' with oil of late). He charmingly referred to the cards he sent as a "Dinged Corners deposit," which may mean "find something to post about, for heaven's sake," in a gentlemanly sort of way. We couldn't agree more. We truly like to inspect the backs of cards from Stats on the Back because we suspect he is quite aware of backquirks. We begin with what may be the only use of the word "fabulous" on the back of a baseball card in the history of mankind. The lucky descriptee is Ralph Garr:and herewith we present the full fabulousity:

Such word choice is only one of a trillion reasons why 1972 Topps is king of baseball cards. Mr. Stats also included several leaders cards, and they are, well, FABULOUS:
There's Ralph Garr again! Six degrees of Ralph Garr! And that must be Glenn Beck before he got his dopey cable show. Oh wait, that's Glenn BeckERT, never mind.
Here is Joe Torre Part Two:
He has that casual placement of bat on shoulder thang going on. Mr. Stargell, meanwhile, is wielding a bat in a most unusual way, possibly because he is distracted by wearing two hats that are both small. And then, as a casual PS, why, there's Hank Aaron. Also, you want fabulous? We'll show you fabulous:
Very generous and much appreciated, Mr. S. Thank you also for two additional cards that have a lot of excellent back-ness:

These Game Face Gear cards, besides being designed by Martians, are as thick as a door. They even cast their own shadows, as you can see along the bottom. This jersey card is interesting for two reasons. One, it emphasizes Mr. Zito's choice of the number 75, which he likes because it's flat on top, like a table, so his last name looks good sitting on it when he wears his uniform. We are not making this up.And then there's The Back. You see the text here? No equivocation! Refreshingly direct language! Barry Zito WORE this jersey bit in an official Oakland Athletics MLB game, buster. Oh, for those days back in 2003, when we were young and hopeful, and jersey bits were jersey bits and not unwanted bat boy undertogs.Finally, here is Kimera. At first we thought Mr. Back may have chosen this because it's a smile card, although we're actually not all that sure whether Mr. Bartee is smiling or grimacing while saying "someone please call the police!" between his gritted teeth because he's frightened of the guy, apparently Charlie Sheen, who has grabbed his mug.

But it turns out the real reason this is an excellent card is because there is nary a dot of space left on the back; instead, we are presented with a sea of stats, tremendous text, lots of logos, a sampling of symbols, a nattering of numbers, some superfine print, and stacks and stacks of more stats. On the back.

Thank you so much, Mark. Love 'em.

3 comments:

dayf said...

re: Kimera

Pretty sure Kimera is saying 'help meeeeeee' through those gritted teeth just loud enough so the cameraman can hear it but Mr Creepy McPervo behind him can't.

NicoLax24 said...

I didn't think it was possible but I think Joe Torre looked better about 10 years ago than he did during his playing days.

Dinged Corners said...

dayf, Creepy McP is skeery.

NicoLax24, agree, maybe he finally combed his eyebrows?