Interview with a baseball card. Part one.

We traded some older Stadium Club cards to a very pleasant gentleman named Don. S., and he sent this (in a perfect 'we-send-a-small-bunch-we-receive-one-cool-card' transaction):

It's quite a handsome card of philanthropist Dave Winfield. The Yankee Stadium Legacy relic cards are well-designed and aesthetically pleasing. Do you know that Mr. Winfield was born on the same day that Bobby Thomson hit "the shot heard 'round the world"? That he feuded with Steinbrenner? Or that Derek Jeter idolized DW (<--- same initials as the best Met) and tries to emulate him philanthropically?

So you can't really go wrong with a Dave Winfield card.

But you know how we get caught up with the whole "word" thing. We're an editor by profession and just can't help it. We really can't. So, in our first Interview with a Baseball Card, we thought we'd talk to the language on the back of this card.

DC: Good day, card!
Card: "Congratulations!"
DC: Why thank you. For what?
Card: "You have received a Dave Winfied Game-Used baseball card."
DC: Holy schnikies! That's great! Used in what game?
Card: "On the front of this card is a piece of memorabilia that has been certified to us as having been used in an official Major League Baseball game."
DC: Fantastic! What game? So it was used in a game that Dave Winfield played in? Or was it used by him at all? Who wore this gray jersey bit? It IS a jersey bit, isn't it? What do you mean, 'used'?
Card: "We hope you enjoy this piece of MLB history..."
DC: Excuse us, not to appear ungrateful to the corporate shades of Upper Deck or anything, but could you possibly just answer our questions, because you know, we would like to get the word out regarding some of the specifics about these relics...
Card: "...as we continue to keep you as close as you can get!"
DC: That's great, but as close as we can get to WHAT exactly? A specific game? A player's undershirt? Would you mind saying a little more...?
Card: "Richard P. McWilliam, The Upper Deck Company"
DC: Excuse us, but Mr. McWilliam...
Card: [makes cut-off gesture]
DC: Richard? All that's left on the back here is for us to look at the hologram, the UD logo, the MLB logo, the Cooperstown Collection logo...we just have a few more questions....

Dinged Corners apologizes for the vague responses made by this card. We will work on our journalistic skills to try and evoke clearer responses, and in the meantime, enjoy the pretty card and think hopeful thoughts.


Bud (First Day Issue) said...


The Wax Wombat said...

Buahahaha, that's great. :) I get so worried about these vague unspecifics myself... That's why I've given up on collecting new stuff. =\


That was great! Quite amusing with a very realistic approach. But talking to cards ..... your corners may have been dinged one time too many!! LOL

DC said...

BD, ya think?

Field of Cards said...

HA HA. You had me laughing out loud, which is pretty rare!

G_Moses said...

Very well done.

I've always wondered why they couldn't just pass on the info to the final consumer of the card.

Really no other industry in America can sell something to the consumer without certifying it to the source.

Two Packs A Day said...

Look at the dot - it's "McWillaim" - amazing he's CEO and can't put the dot over the "i" in the right place. ;)

That fake CEO sig version hasn't been changed in years.