As we ease back into baseball card blogging and, dare we say, collecting, we also return to wrestle with The Big Questions: how can we be anti-corporatist but pro-Met? Or any pro-any-MLB team, for that matter? How can we support a hobby that kills lots of trees? How can we reconcile a growing mistrust of materialism with cardboard acquisitiveness? Here's how.
By focusing on inherent baseball card collecting dangers, such as The B-p.
Yes, The B-p happened to us again recently. Sure, there were distractions in the package, too. Suffice to say that when we opened a packet of cards from dayf, Lucy was highly amused by various little drawings and comments from Mr. C. Junkie, and I was all happy about Zito effect cards and stuff. Before we got distracted by the b--ping, before I had to explain the dangers of opening a packet of baseball cards from bloggers these days to Lucy, she was lulled into complacency because right after some good Zitos we saw something underneath.
What lies beneath, you ask? See for yourself. This part, even a 9-year-old can bear:
Guess what card went into "the most special back page" of the smile/happy binder? Correctomundo, my peeps. Puppies!
And this is why it is so much fun collecting cards with Lucy. This card, you will note, is not signed; there are no bits of clothing attached it; there are no bat shavings. It is not an Xfractor. Yet that triple-dalmatian is now Lucy's favorite card of all time. (Along with many other "favorite cards of all time" sent by bloggers; kids haven't yet refined their elitism abilities.) By collecting cards with her, I remain in direct contact with the pure old days of bike-spoked, rubber-band-gathered, wall-flipped cards that you like, well, just because you like them. Thank you for that, along with all the other thousands of joys you reveal on a daily basis, little one.
Okay, so dayf also tried to distract us with little comments like this one. Mr. CJ has a way of educating us in the most inobtrusive way. I'm sorry to say that it wasn't until I typed "Al Downing 715" into Google that I learned he was the pitcher who threw the spheroid that helped put Hank Aaron into the record books. That's what happens when you are made busy by other topics for months. Your brain gets all dusty. But now we know! And we have another card for our 1972 collection.
Then, as soon as we got feeling safe, we found this. Lucy loved it perhaps because she didn't understand the implications.
And then she got wow-ed by this green DW beauty, and I got caught up in major Zito Effect* (*that is, when you get lots and lots a card of a player, and yet no doubles. It just dawned on me that Zito Effect IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF B--PING!). I won't even show the shocking results of the B-p here. It involved Craig Biggio and will only encourage the perpetrator. We are renting a forklift to remove the results from the premises.
Massive Zito Effect! Ok, that brought down the blood pressure.
Then, we came to realize that dayf was only joshin'! He was only letting the b-p happen to prepare us for the greatness! It was all a ruse to delay the surprise...this beauty:
Wow. [sniff] We love this guy.
And right now, for the proper finish, I'd rescan the puppy card all by its lonely self so you could see its full glory, but I can't, because the moment that thing came out of the scanner the first time, Lucy ran off with it.
Because it's the best baseball* card in the world.
(*Even though, upon close inspection per a question from BA Benny, it's actually a football card. Funny, because we don't associate football players and dogs in a good way. But you get the spirit, if not the letter, of the happy. Stop making sense.)